Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
