Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
