I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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