Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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