writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
