I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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