I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
