Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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