it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
