i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
