Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
