I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
