I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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