We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
