ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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