either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize