apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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