Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
