I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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