She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
