I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
