Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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