You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
