I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
