return my video game
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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