Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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