Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
