we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
