Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize