My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
