your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
