I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
