so that wasnt chicken after all
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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