I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize