he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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