I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
