too bad you live with your parents still
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Randomize
