Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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