I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize