You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
