This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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