don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
