Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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