You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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