is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
