She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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