It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
