please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
