He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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