He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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