So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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