I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive