Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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