TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
