Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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