She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
